I wasn't looking for a man. I wasn't even window-shopping. I was inside the gym, in my home, going to work and minding my business. And yet- somehow- men kept showing up like pop-up ads I never consented to.
You know the type. The "Hey stranger" guy. Sir- we are not strangers- you followed me into my peace uninvited. You kept tabs, you watched, you observed... you insert heart Emoji here.
It's fascinating how men can sense when you're not loking. Not yearning. Not manifesting. Not giving a shit about a cozy cuddle, that's what my dogs are for. That's when they strike. Suddenly, they're "just curious," "just vibing," "just seeing where things go." Where are we going? Because I had plans, and none of them involved decoding mixed signals like a rubix cube.
These men don't want a relationship, but they do want access. To your time. Your energy. Your attention. Your emotional labour. They want girlfriend benefits at bargain store prices. They want deep conversations late at night to feel seen and heard but can't commit to a coffee at 11am. Revoluntionary behaviour.
The real audacity is the confusion and the future faking. You'll say, very calmly, "I wasn't looking because I want a serious long-term relationship. I'm being intentional." And they hear, "Great, she is giving me access to waste her time using inconsistency and poor communication." Suddenly you're catching feelings you didn't apply for. You loitered in my life- for what the ego boost, or stroke?
And come the exit lines! "I just don't know what I want right now." That's okay. I do. That's why I was over here, thriving in my ambiguity, until you showed up with opinions and zero follow- through.
So here's my public service announcement: If I'm not looking, don't audition. If I'm at peace, don't disturb the ecosystem. And if you're unsure, unready, or emotionally buffering- please close the app. I didn't download you.
Because honestly? I wasn't seeking a man. I was seeking sleep, stability, goals, and maybe a fun little drink. And somehow, I still got my time wasted...
