Let me say this upfront: I'm on the cusp of 40, I'm single, and I'm not actively dating.
No apps. No "putting myself out there." No entertaining conversations that start with "hey" and go nowhere.
And before anayone panics, or says the right one will come along when you least expect it (especially to my family, aunts, and friends), I'm not bitter. I'm just busy building the life I always wanted.
This isn't a Break From Dating. It's a Shift...
There was a time when being single felt like something to fix. A temporary state. A question people felt very comfortable asking about.
Now? It feels intentional.
I'm not avoiding dating because I'm closed off. I'm opting out because my energy is finally being spent on things that actually fill me and my teen up. And surprisingly, that has made me feel calmer, happier, and far less interested in explaining myself.
Turns out, peace is very attractive... Somewhere along the way, I realized that I don't want chaos disguised as chemistry anymore.
I want mornings that don't feel rushed. Evenings that don't feel heavy. A life that feels aligned, even when it's imperfect.
Right now, Im creating that. Slowly. Intentionally. With a lot of coffee, therapy, adventures, fitness, new opportunities, and a realistic bedtime.
The Life I'm Building Comes First...
Instead of dating, I'm:
* Focusing on personal growth
* Saying yes to things I once postponed
* Creating routines that support my health and wellbeing
* Prioritizing myself and my teen
It turns out, building a life you love takes time. And that timehas been well spent, and not be "swiped" away.
But let's be clear, I still believe in Love... This isn't a manifesto against dating. It's not a vow of lifelong singledom.
I still believe in love. I still believe in connection. I'm just not chasing it... single on purpose.
If love finds me in this season, it will meet me grounded, secure, and whole, not burned out or bending myself into someone else's expectations.
And honestly, that feels like the best version of me to bring intoanything real.
The fun part no one talks about...
There's something freeing about this stage of life.
I eat what I want.
I go where I want.
I rest when I'm tired instead of explaining it.
I'm not waiting for someone to choose me, I'm choosing myself. And it's wild how much lighter life feels when you do that.
Being almost 40 and not dating isn't a failure, it's a season. One where I'm building, healing, growing, and becoming.
I'm not behind.
I'm not missing out.
I'm just finally living on my own timeline.
And if love shows up later? great. If not right now? Also great. Either way, I'm excatly where I'm supposed to be.
2026 is full of a New Journey, New Growth, New Adventures, New Job (Started in the New Year), New Goals...
